Advice,  Couples

Q+A with Patterson + Erin

And we’re back with another lovely King’s couple! Doesn’t that pic just make you so happy? MY HEART.

These are another two alum that a lot of you youths might not know, but they are very near + dear to my heart. I met Patterson when he was my Inviso guide (circa 2016. Old.). And Erin + I used to take dance classes together in the city (ahahaha memories of activities demolished by Covid). And when I found out (many moons ago) that they were together, I couldn’t be happier because they are two of the SWEETEST PEOPLE EVER. So.

Meet Patterson + Erin Tompkins.

Graduation Year(s): December 2019 (Patterson), May 2018 (Erin)

Majors: MCA (both)

Houses: Truth + Lewis (respectively)

Total relationship length (so far): 4 years

I’ve realized that over the past couple of couples posts (that’s a mouthful) that I’ve done a lot of the talking + I’d like to take one to just let the two people speak for themselves (+ these two are more than capable of doing that). So here’s Patterson + Erin’s answers IN THE RAW. See you on the other side!

Tell me about how you started dating (+ any other notable moments [e.g. engagement, marriage, as well as things like significant/funny moments]) (THEATER KIDS BE WARNED, SHOWMANCE AHEAD)

“We were cast in the King’s Players’ 2016 fall play, Arcadia. At first, we didn’t talk to each other AT ALL (mainly because Patterson was afraid he would develop feelings + blur the lines between acting + actual crushing). But he could only avoid talking to Erin for so long… especially after we had to start rehearsing our stage kisses every day (which started out very bad — thanks @abbeyrose for coaching us through). Just as Patterson had predicted, he started falling. During the show we kept professional but after it ended we started texting each other. A couple months later, Patterson asked Erin to go ice skating at Bryant Park, + then a few weeks later he asked to make it official over cannolis in Little Italy. We got engaged in the fairy light garden in DUMBO at the River Cafe in January 2020, + we tied the knot on April 3rd, 2020. In October we moved to LA + have loved the sunshine, mountain, + ocean views, although we plan to move back to New York in the future.”

How would you describe the dating culture at King’s? Did you feel supported in your relationship by your peers?

“Because King’s is such a small + tight community, it can sometimes feel like there’s not enough privacy to go through the normal ups + downs of your relationship without having an audience. That said, our friends were very supportive of us during our dating season + we’re so grateful for that!”

Do you think dating at King’s is difficult?

“It depends on how much pressure you’re putting on yourselves or on other people. Some couples do this well + others take things really seriously. (We feel like we could have chilled out a little bit.)”

What is the best/most memorable experience you have had at King’s as a couple?

“We had one class together at King’s + it was a Doc class. It was a lot of fun, friend.” (How is this the second time Doc has been mentioned on this blog?)

What’s your favorite/least favorite thing about King’s dating?

“You’re in a panopticon, which isn’t fun, but it is fun to have a lot of the same friends. It’s a double edged sword.” (Wilkinson would approve of the Foucault-esque answer, I’m sure.)

What advice would you give to others on how to make the best of their relationship while at King’s specifically?

“Our advice is to not get too caught up in the ‘King’s bubble’ which we did sometimes. Try to go out into the city + make other friends, too. Either way, King’s tends to have good people but as a community we feel that students should lighten up + take it easy, be open to what might come your way, but really focus on your friendships.”

What relationship advice would you give to others?

“Don’t do anything out of fear. A lot of issues come from that. Let God work on you. Don’t be too hard on yourself or on others. Don’t expect perfection, especially in college. Everyone’s still growing up. Whether you know it or not, there’s still a lot of immaturity, which is to be expected! But a lot of King’s kids expect everything to be perfect in their relationships because they put too much pressure on themselves which easily translates to what they expect from others.”

What is the hardest thing about a relationship? How do you combat this?

“The hardest thing about a relationship is opening your mind + heart to someone else’s lived experience. In relationships it’s so important to be open to learning to see the world through someone else’s eyes + giving it validity even if it’s not your perception.”

What advice would you give to single people today to help set them up for a successful relationship in the future?

“Don’t wait for anything. Get involved in your own career stuff. Establish your own community — build your own world. Don’t wait to do it with someone else. Don’t wait for a partner to start doing those things, because you don’t need one. For guys, go ahead + be the honorable man a lady will want to stay in a relationship with.”

Best advice for how to get a partner (I know this might be a little problematic if taken the wrong way but bear with me please)

“Be easy to be around. Be kind, loving, empathetic, + gracious. Bear the Fruits of the Spirit.”

(And, of course, I had to ask) Have you ever kissed in the Lion’s Den?

To which they said yes +, “We stole many kisses in the elevators.”

And that’s Patterson + Erin! I love how open they are to sharing where they went wrong + giving us that wisdom so that we don’t make the same mistakes. True gems. I miss their presence at King’s + reading this interview makes me wish they’d come back to New York so soon! Until then, we’ll just have to read this interview over + over again + wish them the best from afar!

And as always, follow us on Instagram & let us know who or what you want to see on the blog! We’re getting so close to the end, so if there’s someone or something we haven’t covered yet that you want to know about, let us know soon!

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